The last time Han Tae-soon saw her daughter, Kyung-ha, she was just six years old, playing near their home in Seoul back in May 1975.

“I asked her if she wanted to come to the market with me. She said no, she was going to play with her friends,” Ms. Han recalls. But when she returned, her daughter was gone.

For more than four decades, Ms. Han did not see Kyung-ha again. When they finally reunited, Kyung-ha was no longer the little girl she remembered but a middle-aged American woman named Laurie Bender — nearly unrecognizable.

Ms. Han believes her daughter was kidnapped, taken to an orphanage, and then illegally sent to the United States to be adopted by another family. Now 71, she is suing the South Korean government for failing to stop her daughter’s illegal adoption.

Her story is part of a growing wave of allegations exposing fraud, kidnappings, and human trafficking within South Korea’s overseas adoption program — a program that has sent more children abroad than any other country in the world.

A Controversial Adoption Program Under Fire

Since the 1950s, between 170,000 and 200,000 South Korean children have been adopted overseas, mostly by families in Western countries. The program began after the Korean War, when the country was devastated and many children were orphaned or displaced.

For decades, private agencies handled the adoptions with little government oversight. A landmark inquiry in March revealed that successive governments had failed to regulate the process, allowing children to be “mass exported” for profit.

Many of the children sent abroad had been taken without consent — some kidnapped, others falsely declared abandoned. Parents like Ms. Han were left desperate, searching for decades for their lost children.

A 44-Year Search Ends with DNA

Ms. Han spent years visiting police stations, orphanages, and appearing on TV to find Kyung-ha. “I searched so hard, my toenails fell out,” she says.

In 1990, she thought she had found her daughter but was heartbroken when the woman admitted she was not Kyung-ha.

The breakthrough came in 2019, when Ms. Han joined 325 Kamra, a DNA-matching group for Korean adoptees. The match came quickly — Laurie Bender, a nurse living in California.

They reunited in Seoul, sharing a tearful embrace at the airport.

“I’m a hairdresser. When I touched her hair, I knew it was my daughter,” Ms. Han said. “The first thing I told her was ‘I’m so sorry’ — for all the years we were apart.”

Kyung-ha, who now goes by Laurie, said their reunion “felt like a hole in my heart was healed.”

The Dark Truth Behind the Adoptions

Kyung-ha was kidnapped near her home by a woman who falsely claimed her mother didn’t want her anymore. After being taken to a train station and abandoned, Kyung-ha was picked up by police and sent to an orphanage before being flown to the US with forged papers.

This heartbreaking case is far from unique.

At the height of the program in the 1980s, thousands of Korean children were sent abroad annually — many taken under questionable circumstances. Adoption agencies, driven by profit and minimal government control, often falsified documents and hid fees.

The Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s report described the process as a “mass transportation of children like cargo” — with little regard for their wellbeing. Some children died during transit; others were swapped in paperwork to avoid refunding fees.

Accountability and a Path Forward

Despite the evidence, some agencies deny wrongdoing. Holt International, South Korea’s largest adoption agency, is facing lawsuits but denies claims of illegal adoptions under its former chairman.

Experts say the government must share responsibility for enabling the system, describing it as “the captain while the agencies rowed the boat.”

The government has since enacted reforms, aiming to tighten adoption regulations and reduce overseas adoptions. Numbers have dropped dramatically — only 79 children were adopted abroad in 2023, compared to thousands in the 1980s.

Healing the Wounds, But the Journey Continues

Even after their reunion, Ms. Han and Laurie face challenges — living continents apart, with language barriers and years of lost time.

Ms. Han studies English daily, desperate to reconnect with her daughter beyond occasional texts.

“Finding her doesn’t feel like truly finding her. I know where she is, but we can’t communicate. My whole life was ruined, and no money can make up for that,” she says.

Their story is a powerful reminder of the human cost behind South Korea’s overseas adoption program — a painful legacy that the country is only just beginning to confront.

Source: BBC – Her daughter was kidnapped and sent abroad – 44 years later, they found each other

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Amid the challenges of war, thousands of Ukrainian soldiers with life-altering injuries are redefining relationships, intimacy, and self-acceptance. The rise in casualties has brought critical attention to overlooked issues like sexual rehabilitation and body confidence.

A Soldier’s Journey: Love, Loss, and Rediscovery

When 35-year-old combat medic Tetyana Tsymbaliuk woke up in a hospital after losing her leg to a battlefield injury, her boyfriend was waiting with flowers and a proposal. She declined, fearing she would be a burden.

“I realized that before amputation, I was more attractive. I wasn’t sure I could fulfill my role as a wife,” Tsymbaliuk shared.

Her story reflects the emotional struggles faced by the nearly 370,000 Ukrainian soldiers wounded since Russia’s 2022 invasion, many of whom have undergone amputations. Despite physical and psychological rehabilitation programs, sexual rehabilitation remains a taboo subject, with little formal support available.

A Missing Conversation: Sexual Rehabilitation in Ukraine

While Ukraine has advanced in physical and mental health care for veterans, discussions about sexual health are still rare. Military psychologist and sexologist Hanna Revunets says that societal discomfort with the topic hinders progress.

“We don’t have a culture of openly discussing sex, even with partners,” Revunets explained. “Veterans rarely bring it up unless they’ve built significant trust.”

Revunets highlights the absence of official protocols for sexual rehabilitation, leaving doctors unprepared to address such issues.

“Doctors think I’m crazy when I emphasize its importance. But sexual health is vital for mental and emotional well-being,” she said.

Revunets works with veterans to understand their physical and emotional challenges, offering tailored advice ranging from medication to psychological support.

Veterans Speak Out: “I Was Told to Have Sex, But Not How”

In 2023, Ukrainian nonprofit Veteran Hub conducted interviews with 39 injured veterans and their partners to explore their post-injury sex lives. Many shared that physical changes made intimacy more complex, requiring preparation and adaptation.

One veteran noted a lack of guidance:

“Doctors told me to have sex but didn’t explain how. We’re learning by word of mouth.”

To address this gap, Veteran Hub created a guide to help injured veterans restore their sexual lives. Project manager Kateryna Skorohod stressed the importance of addressing these concerns as part of broader rehabilitation:

“After physical recovery, people want to know if they can still swim, ski, date, or have sex. These questions need answers.”

The Role of Partners: Balancing Care and Intimacy

For many veterans, the journey back to intimacy also involves their partners, who often become primary caregivers.

“Ukrainian society expects wives to care for their husbands entirely, which leaves little room for exploring intimacy,” said Olga Serdyuk, head of a sexual education program at the Recovery rehabilitation network.

Recovery launched a course, Sexual Life, to train medical professionals on how to address sexual rehabilitation. Serdyuk emphasized that even those with severe injuries can find fulfillment:

“Intimacy isn’t just physical; it’s about exploring fantasies, understanding your body, and embracing new forms of pleasure.”

Breaking Barriers on Ukrainian Television

Discussions about disabilities gained mainstream attention when 26-year-old veteran Oleksandr Budko, a double amputee, starred as the lead on Ukraine’s The Bachelor.

In a November episode featuring an intimate scene, 2.8 million viewers tuned in, making it the most-watched program of the day.

“This was the first time a Bachelor with visible amputations was featured,” said producer Anna Kalyna. “We didn’t know how the audience would react, but it was a success.”

Budko’s participation challenged stereotypes. On Instagram, he shared:

“My prostheses don’t define me. I’m worthy of love and a happy life, just like anyone else.”

Veterans Choosing Life Over Suffering

Many veterans are finding ways to reclaim their lives. Infantry commander and osteopath Oleksandr Batalov, who lost his leg in combat, credited his wife’s unwavering support for his recovery.

“At first, I didn’t want anyone to see me. But I chose life, not suffering,” Batalov said.

Batalov is now training to help others, advocating for more specialists in sexual rehabilitation.

“If you’ve survived, you must live fully,” he said.

Love Triumphs: Tsymbaliuk’s Happy Ending

After months of rehabilitation in Germany and Ukraine’s Superhumans Center, Tsymbaliuk found strength in love. Her boyfriend proposed again, and this time, she said yes. Four months ago, the couple welcomed their first child.

“I’m not hiding my prosthetic. I’m living a full life. And I’m happy,” she said.

A Call for Change

As Ukraine navigates the challenges of war, the stories of veterans like Tsymbaliuk and Budko highlight the need for a more comprehensive approach to rehabilitation—one that includes sexual health.

By fostering open discussions and providing resources, Ukraine can help its heroes rebuild their lives, not just survive their injuries.

Source

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